Pecorino Pepato

Pecorino Pepato
Comes from: sheep (and rennet!)
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$12.99/lb

This is a pretty solid pecorino, this one is. A little on the salty side, even for pecorino, which is always salty as hell (and that is why I love it). Standard-issue pecorino-hard (Y'all know where pecorino falls on the hardness scale, right? It's pretty hard and flaky, if you haven't been paying attention, so a dry kind of hard.). The peppercorns (big ol' crunchy peppercorns) are a nice touch. It's not too much pepper, this cheese, but it is the *right* amount of pepper.

By the way, pecorino is like parmesan made from sheep instead of cow. So imagine that taste if you need more help.

Fromage D'Affinois, Robiola Due Latte Guffanti, Keen's Cheddar

It's a triple play to return from away!

(Yeah, I've been terribly neglectful of this blog, sorry. Rachel and I had a Trader Joe's cheese fiesta... sometime in November, accompanied by Commando, but I didn't document it in any way, and now I don't remember what I liked and what I didn't or even what I ate. (Actually, I am pretty sure we hit up some Ossau Iraty.) Point is, I've been out of town a lot, and so I haven't really been stocking the fridge, because whatever I bought would just bloom into a colorful collection of mycelia (WOTD!) by the time I returned.)

Fromage D'Affinois
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$14.99/lb

Leading off the triple play we have the best of the three (sorry), Fromage D'Affinois. I was a little nervous about this player, since it sported just the same shade/kind of rind as the oft-maligned French feet-cheddar of doom. But lo! I was mistaken, because this was a mild, very runny cheese of the more-or-less brie variety. It was *delicious*.

(HA HA HA. Yeah, I'm boring. This cheese is basically brie with more fat. WHO LIKES MORE FAT? OH THAT'S RIGHT I DO.)

Robiola Due Latte Guffanti
Comes from: cows *and* sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$?


(Yes, Whole Foods spelled "latte" wrong. HA HA HA SNOBS.)

This cheese, on the other hand, while still good and runny -- oh, god, so wonderfully runny -- had a bit of the feet-funk to it. Just a bit, mind you, and I could certainly eat and enjoy this cheese *and* get off on the fact that hey! I must be cultured because this cheese is funky! It's good, I just... preferred the other one.

Keen's Cheddar
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$24.99/lb

And this cheese suffered, also, only in comparison to the other two. See, it's a *great* cheddar. Or at least a very good one, if not quite seaside cheddar... but then, this cheddar was more cheddar than seaside cheddar, so... whatever you're looking for, I guess. Still not terribly cheddary, but... like the memory of cheddar, carried on a chewier, flakier wind. Or something. It's just, I kind of was in a runny-cheese mood? And consequently I was like, meh, cheddar. You know?

Keswick Creamery Wallaby

Keswick Creamery Farmstead Cheese: Wallaby
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Frecon Farms
$3.45/3.5 oz = $15.77/lb

So this cheese is good. It's very mild, sort-of cheddary but softer than, I dunno, your standard grocery store brick. Probably would be good in your kids' sandwiches. You know, your imaginary kids? Yeah, those.

Cypress Grove Humboldt Fog Coupe

Cypress Grove Humboldt Fog Coupe
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$19.99/lb

So this cheese? Kind of fell apart? When I took it out of its wrapper? It is supposed to look like this?

Anyway. I really, really like this cheese. Rachel and I consumed copious amounts of this cheese at one of our cheese-fiestas, and lo, it was good. The outside portion of the cheese is runny and sharp in flavor, and the inside of the cheese is more mild, with an almost feta-ish, drier texture, and together they are kind of the best thing ever.

This cheese! Is so great! You should eat it! All the time! And that is the song of humboldt fog.

Mitcana De Oveja

Mitcana De Oveja
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$15.99/lb

This is a pretty good cheese in the runny-on-the-outside, flaky-on-the-inside family. Not too sheepy.

Sottoccenere With Truffles

Sottoccenere With Truffles
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$24.99

This cheese is... interesting. Innnnnnnteresting.

Amadeus

Amadeus
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$12.99/lb

I don't remember this cheese, actually. I think it was bland? But... okay?

Old Nancy Chatham Camembert

Old Nancy Chatham Camembert
Comes from: sheep, cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$19.99/lb

Is there actually a difference between camembert and brie?

Anyway. This cheese was pretty good. But then I am kind of a camembert/brie fan.

Fulvi Pecorino Romano

Fulvi Pecorino Romano
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$9.99/lb

I have no idea why this pecorino is so cheap, because it is the best pecorino I have ever had. Not too salty, just-right flaky... flavorlicious.

Jarlsberg

Jarlsberg
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$7.99/lb

So Jarlsberg. Turns out, it is *not* a fancy cheese, but one of those sandwich cheeses my mom never bought. Which is unsurprising, because my mom bought exactly two sandwich cheeses: cheddar (for my brother) and muenster (for me). Leading to two of the sandwiches that carried me through elementary school, middle school, and high school: cheddar cheese with butter on challah bread, and muenster cheese with butter on challah bread.

So that's this cheese. I guess it is kind of like Swiss? It's a good cheese, just... common. I LOOK DOWN ON THIS CHEESE BECAUSE IT IS COMMON.

Ossau Iraty

Ossau Iraty
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$? (might be $15.99/lb)

Also this cheese. This cheese is *amazing.* I mean, I liked the rindy bits better than I liked the non-rindy bits -- just a little crunchier and saltier -- but that's more or less how I feel about all cheeses ever, so, eh. Anyway. Delicious, sheepy cheese that is not too sheepy, because god knows I have said enough times that I hate sheepy cheeses. (Did you hear me? I HATE SHEEPY CHEESES.) (But not this one!)

Incidentally, when I purchased this cheese I was all excited because the name seemed... I dunno, Slavic to me? But now I find out it is just French. BOO BORING ETHNICITY. BOO.

Calkins Creamery Daisy

Calkins Creamery Daisy
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$15.99/lb

Oh this cheese is so good you should go out and buy some now, okay?

(I am somewhat ashamed that the cheeses I tend to like are a bit milder in flavor than, um, others. This cheese isn't, like, *bland* or anything; it's just not tongue-overpoweringly-awful. You know? Because it is good.)

Red Cloud Haystack Mountain

Red Cloud Haystack Mountain
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$?

This cheese smells like feet. No, worse; it smells like gangrene. No, really; it smells like something rotting in the sun. It is *awful.*

On the other hand, it does not taste terrible when you don't inhale. And the rind has a pleasant grittiness-

Oh! Oh when I smell it again it just smells *awful*. French-muenster awful. God.

Ugh.

Could be paired with: a heavy dose of anything else overpowering. Maybe apple butter. Like, a jar.

Ribafria

Ribafria
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$?

Alright, so I did like this cheese, but I have a quibble (... can "quibble" be a noun?) with cheese-makers everywhere: Why must you coat your perfectly-good milk byproduct with an *obscene* amount of pepper? Why? I mean, I did just eat a ton of pineapple so my mouth is a little... sensitive (as in, bleeding), but this is a shit-ton of pepper on top of perfectly good mild, dry-firm goat cheese. A *shit ton* of pepper. A *my nose is running* of pepper. A *run to the fridge for a bottle of water* of pepper. A *the back of my throat is burning so hard I need to pee* of pepper.

(That happens to y'all, right?)

Hendricks Farms of Telford Bavarian Swiss

Hendricks Farms of Telford Bavarian Swiss
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$19.99/lb

I really liked this cheese. It tastes like swiss cheese, but *better* than swiss cheese. I mean, not that I am some kind of expert on swiss cheese of the non-supermarket variety, but anyways. Think swiss cheese, but without the giant holes, and denser and less wet, like swiss crossed with parmigian in texture. It's just got a really great flavor, this cheese. (Also: Made local! In case you care about such things! Which, not really, but: Field trip?)

Herve Mons Gabietou

Herve Mons Gabietou
Comes from: cows *and* sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$29.99/lb

So this cheese is... meh? I guess. It has a little bit of that foot-taste going, but so mild you don't have to notice it if you don't want to. Soft, on the verge of melty; it's not utterly formless, like brie, but with very little effort (and a spoon) you could mash it down onto your panino without damaging the bread. Anyway. Eh, I guess? And also, I have no class?

Whatever, you knew that already.

(No, thought: I think it'd compliment other things really well, this cheese, like maybe something like salami and, I dunno, roasted pepper on a sandwich. It's just not meant to live alone. Like, I dunno, certain people who take the opportunity to live alone to mean "hell, no, you don't have to shower." Cough, cough.)

Parrano

Parrano
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$8.99/lb

This cheese is pretty okay. It's got a nice sticky chewy-ness to it; go figure, it ranks with your traditional sandwich cheeses (... muenster?) on the hardness/wetness scale. (Um, that was surprisingly sexual. HARD. WET. AMERICAN. CHEESE.) I'm searching the archives, though, because I swear I've had a very similar cheese before, and recently... but maybe I just mean I *sampled* this cheese somewhere, so there's not an entry for it. Anyways. This cheese: Okay, not great, I'd probably want to do something with it if I had to serve it to the queen.

Cambozola

Cambozola
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Trader Joe's
$11.49/lb
So mostly I want to talk about this cheese because its label alerted me to the existence of "microbial rennet," which is what vegetarians (and kosher-types?) can use to make cheese when they don't want their cheeses to contain delicious, delicious baby cow stomach. Hooray for science! (Except that some vegetarians apparently don't even think fake rennet is good enough, because... um, "Somehow, cutting a calf's stomach into pieces to create cheese, or inserting a calf gene into bacteria and yeast to produce bioengineered cheese is not very appealing." Wait, how are those *at all* the same thing?) (Oh, and now I totally want a campaign banner that says "LITVAK PALATE: ENFORCING MICROBIAL SLAVERY SINCE 2008.")

Anyway. Like that other time I ate an obscene amount of Trader Joe's cheese, I find myself at a loss here. Mostly because my blood is slowwwly flooding my digestivey bits and probably taking on a white undertone while doing so. Ew/yum.

This is a perfectly servicable stinky cheese, is what I'm saying, and it's not even *that* stinky, and certainly not offensively stinky. Not as strong as blue cheese of the type you'd find on your salads, but a milder verson of the same will put you in the right ballpark. I'm just not sure how I'd serve this one at my future hypothetical dinner party. It's not crumbly, so not on salads... Maybe you could use it to top your fancy burgers, though. It'd probably be awfully good at that. Or! Or an appetizer, on crackers, with honey. I think that'd be good.

Pecorino Grand Cru

Pecorino Grand Cru
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$15.99
... Damn. Damn, this is a good cheese. You know, I love me some pecorino -- like I said, parmigian's saltier sheep-cousin -- but damn, maybe I have been buying the wrong type all along. Because damn, this one is salty but not too salty and just a hint of sheepy but not actually sheepy, like the memory of sheep or a lamb in the daisies. (And are there two poems that reference lambs in the daisies? because I feel like only one is about death.) Vote "yes" on proposition "this cheese," kids. And if you don't like it you are wrong.

Patacabra Goat (Zaragosa Spain)

Patacabra Goat (Zaragosa Spain)
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$22.99/lb


Now this? This is a good cheese. A solid "medium" on the hardness scale, somewhere around muenster but of course tasting nothing like it, and maybe it'd be softer, even somewhat spreadable, if you didn't eat it straight out of the fridge like (cough, cough) some. Anyway. Good solid goaty flavor but not too goaty, and the rind (chew-licious) has a good sour tang that's not foot-ish. HOORAY GOOD CHEESE. Also would pair well, I'm guessing, with apple butter.