Carr Valley Goat River Blend & Fiore Sardo

Carr Valley Goat River Blend
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$22.99/lb

You know, every so often I think, man, maybe goat cheeses are not my favorite. Maybe I do like sheep cheeses more, since I don't hate sheep cheeses as much as I thought I did. (Logic! It is not there.) Maybe... cows?

And then I have this cheese, and I realize I am wrong.

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Fiore Sardo
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$14.99/lb

But then, I don't hate sheep cheeses either. How often do I have a double play where I say, "Man, these cheeses are both pretty awesome?" Um... pretty often, really. I am not that selective.

Oldwick Shepherd & PA Noble

Right. So it turns out that I haven't bought any cheese in eleven days, which is some kind of record for me, and also which is a lie, because I totally bought some cheese sticks at TJ's last week. But! HERE IS A POST ABOUT SOME CHEESE I ATE BACK THEN AND I HAVE FINALLY UPLOADED THE PHOTOS.

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Valley Shepherd Creamery, Long Valley, NJ: Oldwick Shepherd
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Fair Foods Farmstand, Reading Terminal Market
$25/lb

So this cheese. This cheese was good, a very mild sheep's cheese. Or do I mean sheeps' cheese? Can I assume that all of the milk that went into making this cheese came from a single ewe? I don't think I can. But "sheeps' cheese"? Really? And yes, I know that the sheep did not make this cheese, did not consent to be slaves of The Man and have their nipples macerated every day by giant milking machines so that a certain zaftig, largely sedentary female human in a bright and shiny apartment building in a far-away city could consume their lipidated sweat.

(Unlikely words that spell check does not disapprove of: "lipidated.")

But given all of those things, the fact remains that "sheeps' cheese," or even "sheeps'-milk cheese," with the apostrophe *there*, looks ridiculous, and maybe it is "sheep's milk," you know, one sheep representing the herd, all "One small step for [a] man, one giant leap for mankind." Only it bungles the quote at the last minute because it's on the MOTHERFUCKING MOON with RHINOS and maybe some OCTOPI*.

* Cf. pp. 42, 43.

(Even though I know that the sheep that gives milk is automatically a ewe-sheep*, my brain defaults to "it" for subject-pronoun. I HAVE NO RESPECT FOR ANIMAL-KIND EVEN WHEN IT GIVES ME CHEESES.)

* June is bustin' out all over. IN MY HEART.

Um, like I said, the cheese was pretty good. Not my favorite -- kind of, like I said, mild, and my palate isn't refined enough for that -- but pretty good all the same.

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Green Valley Dairy, Lancaster Co, PA: PA Noble
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Fair Foods Farmstand, Reading Terminal Market
$25/lb

This cheese was also a solid choice, if *also* a little too mild for my tastes. I mean, it's *supposed* to be mild, I think. But, y'know, too mild to eat alone. Which is how I eat my cheeses. And all of my meals. For the rest of my life.

[runs away sobbing]

Blue post-call day: Neal's Yard Shropshire Blue and Valley Shepherd Creamery Crema de Blue

Neal's Yard Shropshire Blue
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$24.99/lb

This cheese was okay. It was very sharp; I'm trying to think of what it'd pair with, food-wise. Salad, obviously -- it's not exactly traditional-crumbly enough for salad, but I bet it would be good sliced thin and scattered over spinach leaves -- and I'm coming up with only beer. Beer, salad, maybe stick some of this cheese on toothpicks at your fancy-shmancy dinner parties, though be warned that it's probably crumbly enough to get all over your inherited carpets. Whatevs; that's what the help is for.

(OH GOD MY FANTASY LIFE.)

(HONESTLY I JUST WANT A ROOMBA THOUGH.)

So. Sharp cheese, softer than muenster, harder than brie, moister than a traditional crumbly blue cheese... maybe edge towards feta a little bit from regular blue, and that's where this cheese sits. Good, solid, a little too blue for my tastes which I didn't think was possible, but hey, surprises happen every day in my life. CHEESY SURPRISES.

(I WISH.)

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Valley Shepherd Creamery Crema de Blue
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Fair Food Farmstand [You guys know I don't give a crap about fair food, right? And that I only bought cheese here because it came in small pieces? Okay, good. Gotta defend my rep.]
$21/lb

(Ohhhh, weird, the stand is totally connected with the place where I went on that date on Tuesday. Ohhhhh.)

This cheese I liked better, though that might just be because it was meltier and I was in a kind of melty mood. A little less sharp of a blue, and like I said, a little meltier, but only a little. Think... I dunno, cross blue cheese with brie, and that's how soft this was. Kind of.

(Of course, I might be biased in favor of the little-guy cheese. Shhhh. I AM NOT A FAIR FOODS KIND OF GIRL I JUST HATE WHOLE FOODS MORE.)

Another triple play: Fontal Fiave Valle Alpina, Rogue River Blue, Lavort

Fontal Val Alpina [Fontal Fiave Valle Alpina]
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$9.99/lb

[no picture because my phone ran out of memory and then this turned out to be the one cheese I cannot find *anywhere* on the internet, seriously it is like the cheese that does not exist]

This cheese is... okay. A softer, sandwichy cheese; I guess I'd compare it to muenster (regular, American muenster) in hardness and density and moisture. It's just kind of... bland, I guess. I think it'd be good with sharper meats, because it's got a nice chewy bite and I imagine it melts pretty well and so would be good on panini and such. But then, what isn't good on panini and such? Precious little.

Rogue River Blue
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$39.99/lb

An interesting blue cheese, with pear brandy and grape leaves thrown in. Crumbly, moist, palate-sticky in texture, the way a blue cheese should be. The grape leaves were especially interesting; they added an almost peppery but not overpowering flavor to the cheese within. Overall, a solid cheese whose additives (for once) complimented the whole rather than just confused the fuck out of it.

Lavort
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$24.99/lb

Also a pretty good cheese. Not quite as dry as parmigiano in texture and bite, but edging close. Not really a sandwich cheese, but the flavor is pretty mild all the same. (Also, still more evidence that I need to rethink my anti-sheep bias, but shhh. Shhhhhh.)

I am so angry at this article it is kind of funny.

Cheese — it's grosser than you thought
Behind the taste lie bacteria, stomach lining, pesticides and pure fat

"To ripen cheese and add flavor, bacterial strains are freely injected and smeared into the substance."

OH NOS!

Shit, people. WHERE DID YOU THINK CHEESE CAME FROM?

(Also, "Fat is what gives cheese its taste, and 70 to 80 percent of the calories in cheese come from pure fat." ARE YOU SPEAKING DISAPPROVINGLY OF DIETARY FAT? BECAUSE YOU AND I, WE WILL HAVE WORDS.)

Zamorano

Zamorano
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$16.99/lb

Damn, this was good sheep cheese. I am surprised. In fact, I am beginning to think that maybe I don't hate sheep cheeses after all?

... Yeah, that was how good this cheese was. This cheese was so good I am beginning to rethink my bias towards its species.

Wisconsin Muenster

Wisconsin Muenster
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$6.99/lb

So tonight I ate muenster cheese.

And, no, honestly, you don't need a review of muenster cheese.

Pecorino Pepato

Pecorino Pepato
Comes from: sheep (and rennet!)
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$12.99/lb

This is a pretty solid pecorino, this one is. A little on the salty side, even for pecorino, which is always salty as hell (and that is why I love it). Standard-issue pecorino-hard (Y'all know where pecorino falls on the hardness scale, right? It's pretty hard and flaky, if you haven't been paying attention, so a dry kind of hard.). The peppercorns (big ol' crunchy peppercorns) are a nice touch. It's not too much pepper, this cheese, but it is the *right* amount of pepper.

By the way, pecorino is like parmesan made from sheep instead of cow. So imagine that taste if you need more help.

Fromage D'Affinois, Robiola Due Latte Guffanti, Keen's Cheddar

It's a triple play to return from away!

(Yeah, I've been terribly neglectful of this blog, sorry. Rachel and I had a Trader Joe's cheese fiesta... sometime in November, accompanied by Commando, but I didn't document it in any way, and now I don't remember what I liked and what I didn't or even what I ate. (Actually, I am pretty sure we hit up some Ossau Iraty.) Point is, I've been out of town a lot, and so I haven't really been stocking the fridge, because whatever I bought would just bloom into a colorful collection of mycelia (WOTD!) by the time I returned.)

Fromage D'Affinois
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$14.99/lb

Leading off the triple play we have the best of the three (sorry), Fromage D'Affinois. I was a little nervous about this player, since it sported just the same shade/kind of rind as the oft-maligned French feet-cheddar of doom. But lo! I was mistaken, because this was a mild, very runny cheese of the more-or-less brie variety. It was *delicious*.

(HA HA HA. Yeah, I'm boring. This cheese is basically brie with more fat. WHO LIKES MORE FAT? OH THAT'S RIGHT I DO.)

Robiola Due Latte Guffanti
Comes from: cows *and* sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$?


(Yes, Whole Foods spelled "latte" wrong. HA HA HA SNOBS.)

This cheese, on the other hand, while still good and runny -- oh, god, so wonderfully runny -- had a bit of the feet-funk to it. Just a bit, mind you, and I could certainly eat and enjoy this cheese *and* get off on the fact that hey! I must be cultured because this cheese is funky! It's good, I just... preferred the other one.

Keen's Cheddar
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$24.99/lb

And this cheese suffered, also, only in comparison to the other two. See, it's a *great* cheddar. Or at least a very good one, if not quite seaside cheddar... but then, this cheddar was more cheddar than seaside cheddar, so... whatever you're looking for, I guess. Still not terribly cheddary, but... like the memory of cheddar, carried on a chewier, flakier wind. Or something. It's just, I kind of was in a runny-cheese mood? And consequently I was like, meh, cheddar. You know?

Keswick Creamery Wallaby

Keswick Creamery Farmstead Cheese: Wallaby
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Frecon Farms
$3.45/3.5 oz = $15.77/lb

So this cheese is good. It's very mild, sort-of cheddary but softer than, I dunno, your standard grocery store brick. Probably would be good in your kids' sandwiches. You know, your imaginary kids? Yeah, those.

Cypress Grove Humboldt Fog Coupe

Cypress Grove Humboldt Fog Coupe
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$19.99/lb

So this cheese? Kind of fell apart? When I took it out of its wrapper? It is supposed to look like this?

Anyway. I really, really like this cheese. Rachel and I consumed copious amounts of this cheese at one of our cheese-fiestas, and lo, it was good. The outside portion of the cheese is runny and sharp in flavor, and the inside of the cheese is more mild, with an almost feta-ish, drier texture, and together they are kind of the best thing ever.

This cheese! Is so great! You should eat it! All the time! And that is the song of humboldt fog.

Mitcana De Oveja

Mitcana De Oveja
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$15.99/lb

This is a pretty good cheese in the runny-on-the-outside, flaky-on-the-inside family. Not too sheepy.

Sottoccenere With Truffles

Sottoccenere With Truffles
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$24.99

This cheese is... interesting. Innnnnnnteresting.

Amadeus

Amadeus
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$12.99/lb

I don't remember this cheese, actually. I think it was bland? But... okay?

Old Nancy Chatham Camembert

Old Nancy Chatham Camembert
Comes from: sheep, cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$19.99/lb

Is there actually a difference between camembert and brie?

Anyway. This cheese was pretty good. But then I am kind of a camembert/brie fan.

Fulvi Pecorino Romano

Fulvi Pecorino Romano
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$9.99/lb

I have no idea why this pecorino is so cheap, because it is the best pecorino I have ever had. Not too salty, just-right flaky... flavorlicious.

Jarlsberg

Jarlsberg
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$7.99/lb

So Jarlsberg. Turns out, it is *not* a fancy cheese, but one of those sandwich cheeses my mom never bought. Which is unsurprising, because my mom bought exactly two sandwich cheeses: cheddar (for my brother) and muenster (for me). Leading to two of the sandwiches that carried me through elementary school, middle school, and high school: cheddar cheese with butter on challah bread, and muenster cheese with butter on challah bread.

So that's this cheese. I guess it is kind of like Swiss? It's a good cheese, just... common. I LOOK DOWN ON THIS CHEESE BECAUSE IT IS COMMON.

Ossau Iraty

Ossau Iraty
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$? (might be $15.99/lb)

Also this cheese. This cheese is *amazing.* I mean, I liked the rindy bits better than I liked the non-rindy bits -- just a little crunchier and saltier -- but that's more or less how I feel about all cheeses ever, so, eh. Anyway. Delicious, sheepy cheese that is not too sheepy, because god knows I have said enough times that I hate sheepy cheeses. (Did you hear me? I HATE SHEEPY CHEESES.) (But not this one!)

Incidentally, when I purchased this cheese I was all excited because the name seemed... I dunno, Slavic to me? But now I find out it is just French. BOO BORING ETHNICITY. BOO.

Calkins Creamery Daisy

Calkins Creamery Daisy
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$15.99/lb

Oh this cheese is so good you should go out and buy some now, okay?

(I am somewhat ashamed that the cheeses I tend to like are a bit milder in flavor than, um, others. This cheese isn't, like, *bland* or anything; it's just not tongue-overpoweringly-awful. You know? Because it is good.)

Red Cloud Haystack Mountain

Red Cloud Haystack Mountain
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$?

This cheese smells like feet. No, worse; it smells like gangrene. No, really; it smells like something rotting in the sun. It is *awful.*

On the other hand, it does not taste terrible when you don't inhale. And the rind has a pleasant grittiness-

Oh! Oh when I smell it again it just smells *awful*. French-muenster awful. God.

Ugh.

Could be paired with: a heavy dose of anything else overpowering. Maybe apple butter. Like, a jar.