Dun-d-duh-dun-duh-d-dun-dun-dun-dun, d-d-dun, d-d-dun, d-d-dun, d-d-dun, Dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun, Dun-nuh-nuh-dun-nuh-nuh-nuh... aw, fuck it.
The contestants! And, um, extras. (Have I been eating these cheeses for the past two weeks? WHY DO YOU ASK?)CONTESTANTS:
WaWa String Cheese
365 Brand (Whole Foods) String Cheese
Trader Joe's Light String Cheese
Kraft String-Ums
Penn-Maid String Cheese
Maggio String Cheese
Kraft likes to advertise its cheeses with an insane cow.
Which totally looks ripped from Chicken Run, no?
Maggio, meanwhile, is the *fun* snack.
Whose bag looks like it was designed by me, circa 1995. On a Mac.Okay, enough blathering. LET THE GAMES BEGIN.
CHEESE FIGHT!
(I'd like to thank Chung May Grocery, right here, for the toothpicks. TAKE THAT WHOLE FOODS AND RENEWABLE RESOURCES.)So I have to say that the outcome of this match surprised me. But I have never eaten six string cheeses back to back to back -- in fact, I feel kind of ill right now -- and there you go.
(Midway through the carnage.)The loser, I think, is Penn-Maid. And not only because I hate Penn-Maid cottage cheese -- it is sour and *wrong* -- though that may have handicapped the cheese a little. But this string cheese also tasted... sour. I can't describe it beyond "sour." Oooh, or "like you licked the back of the refrigerator."
The next-loser turned out to be 365 Brands. Also slightly handicapped, maybe, by my feelings about Whole Foods, but also just... bland. Bland and kind of without any chewy bite to it. Which, I guess if you want your string cheese to be all melty right off the bat that's fine with me, but that's not how I roll.
So that leaves WaWa, Trader Joe's, Maggio, and Kraft. Trader Joe's, I think, suffered for being a diet cheese; it's good for a diet cheese, and also had a nice bite to it that the others lacked, but in the end it just didn't taste as good. (However, I will probably keep buying it, because for 60 calories it's not bad.)
So. Maggio, Kraft, WaWa. I was surprised Maggio made it this far, honestly. Both Maggio and Kraft had a little bit of this... aftertaste thing going. *Like* Penn-Maid's aftertaste, but not... really. See, they also had *flavor,* which made them not as bad as Penn-Maid. As for WaWa, WaWa lacked the icky aftertaste, but did this weird thing where in its final moments before the swallow it got a little gritty.
Soooo to conclude: WaWa in first place by a hair, Maggio and Kraft tied for second, trailed by TJ's Light in fourth (a decent finish for a diet cheese, right?), 365 Brand in fifth, and Penn-Maid rolling into last place.
ALL HAIL WAWA.
I still feel vaguely ill.
6 comments:
Um, I'll admit I just looked at the photos....
battling string cheese?
then it was all gone by the end of the post!?!?!
(sigh)
did you vomit cheese?
Oh Gabbiana, you totally just made my day.
I'm six months late on this, but you are not the only person I've met who has deemed wawa string cheese the winner. I have a friend who will only consume wawa string cheese now, and no others.
wawa string cheese literally keeps my heart beating. lol. i eat string cheese 5 days a week at work. i've tried every kind i've ever found and all fail in comparison by a LONG shot. I have yet to find one that comes close so i don't have to pay $.89 a stick. :(
oh... and furthermore polly o which i believe is kraft is like reconstitued vomit. frigo is one you didn't have on here and they aren't too bad. penn maid is pretty stinkin' awful.
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