Arina Goat Gouda

Arina Goat Gouda
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$13.99/lb

So this cheese. You -- and here you are me, or, um, I; ugh -- anyway, you grab this cheese out of the sad-single-people-portions basket at Whole Foods, thinking, "Hey! I like gouda! I like goats! What could go wrong?"

But this cheese is the most un-gouda-like gouda I can imagine. It's a pale yellow color (see above) and, according to the packaging, it contains eggs. Does real gouda contain eggs? I have no idea.

(No, says Wiki. No, it does not.)

(Okay, from that Wiki entry: "Some say that the best Gouda cheese is in Iceland. But the location of the 'cold island' is still in debate." Dear anonymous editor: Of all the entries on Wikipedia, you picked the *gouda* entry to vandalize? With an obscure joke about Iceland? I am so confused.)

(Also from that Wiki entry: I would totally be banned from this place. TOTALLY.)

(This cheese also contains everybody's favorite, rennet! "Animal rennet," in fact, not mere cow rennet. Yum.)

Also surprising, there is a... hidden crunch to this cheese. The cheese itself is rates with American muenster on the hardness scale -- not soft, not hard -- but evvvvvvery so often there's some... grit to it. Which, not unpleasant, just surprising. And again, I was expecting gouda, which... is hard, right?

So, point is, this cheese is calling itself a "gouda," and I'm not sure why, 'cause it's not. At least to me. On the other hand, the Dutch would know, I guess. (Dear Holland The Netherlands, okay, I get it, stop having two names already: Why?)

BUT THE POINT IS. This cheese is pretty good. There's a nice acid kick at the sides of your tongue when you start chewing it, and a good sour taste (no, *good* sour) at the back of your throat when you swallow. Also, a strong goat-ness throughout; if goat's cheese ain't your thing, stay away.

As for pairings (lookit me, gettin' all fancified with my cheese-speak!), I'd say... um... dunno. I'm sure it'd be good with apple butter, but I want to pair *everything* with apple butter, so that's no help. I'm sure it'd be good with nice crispy bits of baguette, but again, I want to put *everything* on a baguette. I'm wondering if this cheese would be fun to do something really (comparatively) scary with, like... olive oil and rosemary. I have no idea why I'm saying that, because I am not that fancy, but...

(Hang on, I have a bite of cheese left.)

Okay, yes, olive oil and rosemary. You're welcome.