Sottoccenere With Truffles

Sottoccenere With Truffles
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$24.99

This cheese is... interesting. Innnnnnnteresting.

Amadeus

Amadeus
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$12.99/lb

I don't remember this cheese, actually. I think it was bland? But... okay?

Old Nancy Chatham Camembert

Old Nancy Chatham Camembert
Comes from: sheep, cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$19.99/lb

Is there actually a difference between camembert and brie?

Anyway. This cheese was pretty good. But then I am kind of a camembert/brie fan.

Fulvi Pecorino Romano

Fulvi Pecorino Romano
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$9.99/lb

I have no idea why this pecorino is so cheap, because it is the best pecorino I have ever had. Not too salty, just-right flaky... flavorlicious.

Jarlsberg

Jarlsberg
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$7.99/lb

So Jarlsberg. Turns out, it is *not* a fancy cheese, but one of those sandwich cheeses my mom never bought. Which is unsurprising, because my mom bought exactly two sandwich cheeses: cheddar (for my brother) and muenster (for me). Leading to two of the sandwiches that carried me through elementary school, middle school, and high school: cheddar cheese with butter on challah bread, and muenster cheese with butter on challah bread.

So that's this cheese. I guess it is kind of like Swiss? It's a good cheese, just... common. I LOOK DOWN ON THIS CHEESE BECAUSE IT IS COMMON.

Ossau Iraty

Ossau Iraty
Comes from: sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$? (might be $15.99/lb)

Also this cheese. This cheese is *amazing.* I mean, I liked the rindy bits better than I liked the non-rindy bits -- just a little crunchier and saltier -- but that's more or less how I feel about all cheeses ever, so, eh. Anyway. Delicious, sheepy cheese that is not too sheepy, because god knows I have said enough times that I hate sheepy cheeses. (Did you hear me? I HATE SHEEPY CHEESES.) (But not this one!)

Incidentally, when I purchased this cheese I was all excited because the name seemed... I dunno, Slavic to me? But now I find out it is just French. BOO BORING ETHNICITY. BOO.

Calkins Creamery Daisy

Calkins Creamery Daisy
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$15.99/lb

Oh this cheese is so good you should go out and buy some now, okay?

(I am somewhat ashamed that the cheeses I tend to like are a bit milder in flavor than, um, others. This cheese isn't, like, *bland* or anything; it's just not tongue-overpoweringly-awful. You know? Because it is good.)

Red Cloud Haystack Mountain

Red Cloud Haystack Mountain
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$?

This cheese smells like feet. No, worse; it smells like gangrene. No, really; it smells like something rotting in the sun. It is *awful.*

On the other hand, it does not taste terrible when you don't inhale. And the rind has a pleasant grittiness-

Oh! Oh when I smell it again it just smells *awful*. French-muenster awful. God.

Ugh.

Could be paired with: a heavy dose of anything else overpowering. Maybe apple butter. Like, a jar.

Ribafria

Ribafria
Comes from: goats
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$?

Alright, so I did like this cheese, but I have a quibble (... can "quibble" be a noun?) with cheese-makers everywhere: Why must you coat your perfectly-good milk byproduct with an *obscene* amount of pepper? Why? I mean, I did just eat a ton of pineapple so my mouth is a little... sensitive (as in, bleeding), but this is a shit-ton of pepper on top of perfectly good mild, dry-firm goat cheese. A *shit ton* of pepper. A *my nose is running* of pepper. A *run to the fridge for a bottle of water* of pepper. A *the back of my throat is burning so hard I need to pee* of pepper.

(That happens to y'all, right?)

Hendricks Farms of Telford Bavarian Swiss

Hendricks Farms of Telford Bavarian Swiss
Comes from: cows
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$19.99/lb

I really liked this cheese. It tastes like swiss cheese, but *better* than swiss cheese. I mean, not that I am some kind of expert on swiss cheese of the non-supermarket variety, but anyways. Think swiss cheese, but without the giant holes, and denser and less wet, like swiss crossed with parmigian in texture. It's just got a really great flavor, this cheese. (Also: Made local! In case you care about such things! Which, not really, but: Field trip?)

Herve Mons Gabietou

Herve Mons Gabietou
Comes from: cows *and* sheep
Purchased at: Whole Foods
$29.99/lb

So this cheese is... meh? I guess. It has a little bit of that foot-taste going, but so mild you don't have to notice it if you don't want to. Soft, on the verge of melty; it's not utterly formless, like brie, but with very little effort (and a spoon) you could mash it down onto your panino without damaging the bread. Anyway. Eh, I guess? And also, I have no class?

Whatever, you knew that already.

(No, thought: I think it'd compliment other things really well, this cheese, like maybe something like salami and, I dunno, roasted pepper on a sandwich. It's just not meant to live alone. Like, I dunno, certain people who take the opportunity to live alone to mean "hell, no, you don't have to shower." Cough, cough.)